Looking for a good laugh? Funny quotes from famous people can bring a smile to your face and brighten your day. From comedians to writers, many well-known figures have shared hilarious thoughts that make us chuckle. These quotes remind us not to take life too seriously and to enjoy the little moments that bring joy.
Funny quotes can have a big impact on your daily life. They offer a lighthearted perspective when things feel heavy and can be an excellent way to start your day with a positive attitude. By keeping a few of these funny sayings in mind, you can spread laughter and lighten the mood around you.
Top Funny Quotes From Famous People
Words of wisdom: Humor reframes problems as temporary and manageable; a witty quip can break tension and foster connection. Embracing lightness helps perspective, reduces stress, and invites others to join in shared laughter.
“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.” – Mark Twain
“I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde
“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” – Groucho Marx
“I don’t care what is written about me so long as it isn’t true.” – Dorothy Parker
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” – Winston Churchill
“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” – Yogi Berra
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Robert Orben
“I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.” – George Carlin
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, we don’t know where she is.” – Ellen DeGeneres
“I intend to live forever — so far, so good.” – Steven Wright
Funny Quotes From Famous People About Life
Words of wisdom: Life’s quirks become bearable when we laugh at them. A playful line can shift your mood and reveal that imperfection is not only normal but entertaining.
“It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.” – Jerry Seinfeld
“If you live to be 100, I want to live to 100 minus one day so I never have to live without you.” – Winnie the Pooh (A. A. Milne)
“I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.” – Will Rogers
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom Lehrer
“I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.” – Mae West
“Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” – Billie Burke
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.” – Erma Bombeck
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gives it to.” – Dorothy Parker
“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard
Funny Quotes From Famous People About Love
Words of wisdom: Love and laughter often travel together; teasing and humor can keep relationships fresh, reminding us that affection thrives on shared joy more than perfect moments.
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
“Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.” – Woody Allen
“If you wish to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gives it to.” – Dorothy Parker
“My husband and I have the secret to making a marriage last: two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, sit in the car, and review the day. That is, we discuss important matters. The other days, we talk about nothing.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” – Jean Illsley Clarke
“A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.” – Lionel Shriver
“Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.” – Georg C. Lichtenberg
“Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.” – Elinor Glyn
“I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.” – John Green
“Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” – Tommy Smothers
Funny Quotes From Famous People About Work
Words of wisdom: Work needs purpose, but humor prevents burnout. A witty remark at the office can relieve stress, build camaraderie, and keep perspective when tasks feel endless.
“I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” – Jerome K. Jerome
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?” – Edgar Bergen
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” – Jake Wood
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
“If you think your boss is stupid remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” – Oscar Wilde
“I like to work, but I don’t want to live at work.” – David Brent (Ricky Gervais character)
Funny Quotes From Famous People About Aging
Words of wisdom: Aging is inevitable, but humor gives it grace. Jokes about growing older reframe decline as experience, helping us celebrate longevity rather than fear it.
“You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.” – George Bernard Shaw
“Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Jack Benny
“I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.” – Phyllis Diller
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball
“Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.” – Chili Davis
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” – Benjamin Franklin
“Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.” – Victor Hugo
“You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope
“At my age, ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering why I’m there.” – Unknown Comic (attributed culturally)
“Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.” – Bob Hope
Funny Quotes From Famous People About Food & Drink
Words of wisdom: Food feeds the body and laughter feeds the soul. Humorous food quotes celebrate indulgence, culinary mishaps, and the joy of sharing a meal with good company.
“I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food.” – W.C. Fields
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” – Unknown (often credited in humor circles to multiple sources)
“Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.” – Ernestine Ulmer
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” – Charles M. Schulz
“There is no sincerer love than the love of food.” – George Bernard Shaw
“I only drink on two occasions: when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.” – Brendan Behan
“You don’t need a silver fork to eat good food.” – Paul Prudhomme
“A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.” – Barbara Johnson
“I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time.” – Charles Schulz
“I like long romantic walks down every aisle at the grocery store.” – Unknown (popular quip often attributed in modern memes)
Funny Quotes From Famous People About Marriage
Words of wisdom: Marriage thrives on small absurdities and shared jokes. Playful jabs remind couples to keep humility and humor central to partnership.
“A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.” – Unknown (often used by humorists)
“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.” – Francois de La Rochefoucauld
“The four most important words in any marriage: I’ll do the dishes.” – Unknown (popular comedic line)
“Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.” – Unknown (witty saying in marriage lore)
“If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.” – Sam Levenson
“Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person — and forgiving the same snoring.” – Mignon McLaughlin
“My wife told me to take out the trash. I gave her a kiss and said, ‘You first.'” – Henny Youngman
“Being married is like having a best friend who doesn’t remember anything you say.” – Unknown (common quip)
Funny Quotes From Famous People About Success & Failure
Words of wisdom: Humor helps reframe failure as learning and success as surprisingly human. Laughing at setbacks reduces fear and encourages risk-taking.
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
“Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.” – Bill Gates
“Far better an approximate answer to the right question, which is often vague, than an exact answer to the wrong question, which can always be made precise.” – John Tukey
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“If you want to achieve greatness stop asking for permission.” – Unknown motivational quip (popularized in speeches)
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles Schulz
“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan
“Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.” – KYLE (humorous modern line)
Funny Quotes From Famous People About Politics & Society
Words of wisdom: Political humor exposes absurdities and makes critique approachable. A clever barb invites reflection and helps people cope with complexity.
“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.” – Groucho Marx
“If voting made any difference they wouldn’t let us do it.” – Mark Twain
“In politics, stupidity is not a handicap.” – Napoleon Bonaparte
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” – Winston Churchill
“We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.” – Aesop
“A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.” – W. Somerset Maugham
“Politics is show business for ugly people.” – Jay Leno
“There is no such thing as a little freedom. Either you are all free, or you are not free.” – Arthur C. Clarke
“An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.” – Simon Cameron
“The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.” – Will Rogers
Funny Quotes From Famous People About Creativity & Art
Words of wisdom: Creativity thrives when risk and play replace fear. A humorous observation can spark new ideas and remind creators to enjoy the process more than the outcome.
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.” – Woody Allen
“To err is human, to arr is pirate.” – Groucho Marx
“An artist’s only concern is to shoot for some kind of perfection, and on his own terms, not anyone else’s.” – Anna Pavlova
“Every artist was first an amateur.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Painting is just another way of keeping a diary — except you never have to write ‘Dear Diary.'” – Unknown (common witticism)
“Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.” – Thomas Merton
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0.” – Unknown (tech-culture joke)
“The job of the artist is always to deepen the mystery.” – Francis Bacon
Funny Quotes From Famous People About Parenting & Family
Words of wisdom: Parenting invites chaos; humor is a survival skill. A lighthearted remark can defuse tantrums, normalize imperfection, and remind families to savor small moments.
“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.” – Sam Levenson
“Having children is like living in a frat house — nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” – Ray Romano
“When your child is born, the mother has to learn how to parent, and so does the father, but the baby already knows everything.” – Erma Bombeck
“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” – Lane Olinghouse
“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender that you don’t have the lid for.” – Jerry Seinfeld
“You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they are going.” – P. J. O’Rourke
“There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable diseases and their mother’s lipstick.” – P. J. O’Rourke
“Sometimes I think I should open an advice column and blow all my money on the answer key.” – Unknown (humorous parenting quip)
“Children are like farts. You can only tolerate your own.” – Unknown (popular quip)
“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” – Milton Berle
Funny Quotes From Famous People About Travel & Leisure
Words of wisdom: Travel broadens the mind and exposes absurdities, making for great material. A witty travel quote can capture the joy of spontaneity and the folly of overplanning.
“I travel a lot; I hate having my life disrupted by routine.” – Cressida Cowell
“Jet lag is for amateurs.” – David Bowie
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.” – George Carlin
“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” – Saint Augustine
“I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.” – Susan Sontag
“To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries.” – Aldous Huxley
“Take only memories, leave only footprints (and maybe a few postcards).” – Unknown (playful travel quip)
“Tourists don’t know where they’ve been, travelers don’t know where they’re going.” – Paul Theroux
“I need a six-month vacation, twice a year.” – Unknown (popular humorous line)
“Travel far enough, you meet yourself.” – David Mitchell
Funny Quotes From Famous People About Self-Deprecation & Wit
Words of wisdom: Self-deprecating humor disarms and humanizes. Laughing at oneself signals confidence and invites others to relax and laugh along rather than judge.
“If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde
“I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.” – Steven Wright
“If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people.” – Jim Eason
“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” – Mitch Hedberg
“I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.” – Russell Lynes
“I am not young enough to know everything.” – J.M. Barrie
“Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.” – L. Frank Baum
“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.” – Charles Bukowski
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers
Funny Quotes From Famous People About Animals & Nature
Words of wisdom: Observations about nature often reveal human foibles. Animal humor reminds us of our place in the world and invites gentle humility and joy.
“Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” – Roger Caras
“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” – Josh Billings
“I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.” – Hippolyte Taine
“The only mystery in life is why people are not as happy as dogs.” – G. K. Chesterton
“In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.” – Anonymous (widely circulated attribution)
“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and man.” – Mark Twain
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.” – Sigmund Freud
“An elephant never forgets; it just chooses to forgive later.” – Unknown (playful observation)
“Nature is like a mother-in-law — always right, occasionally difficult, but occasionally wonderful.” – Anonymous Wit
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gives it to.” – Dorothy Parker
Final Thoughts
Funny quotes from famous people serve as tiny beacons of levity in our daily lives. They condense insight and absurdity into memorable lines that help us reframe setbacks, celebrate relationships, and simply smile at the human condition. Whether shared aloud or tucked into a note, a well-timed quip can brighten someone’s day.
These sayings remind us that humor is a universal tool—one that eases tension, builds connection, and makes heavy topics more approachable. From satire to self-deprecation, these voices reflect a range of perspectives that encourage resilience and perspective through laughter.
Keep these quotes handy as prompts to pause, laugh, and share. Use them to open conversations, soften criticism, or simply uplift yourself and others when life feels too serious.
If you enjoyed these collections, explore more lighthearted reads like Funny Narcissist Quotes or get a laugh from pop-culture picks like Snooki Quotes to continue your reading and brighten your day.