Funny quotes by famous people can bring a smile to anyone’s face. Whether you’re having a tough day or just need a laugh, these witty words remind us not to take life too seriously. From actors to writers, many famous figures have a knack for humor that can lighten our mood. In this post, you’ll find some of the most hilarious quotes that will tickle your funny bone.
These quotes are more than just jokes; they can change your perspective on everyday life. A good laugh can ease stress and brighten your outlook, making your day a little better. By incorporating humor into your daily routine, you might find that your mood lifts and you feel more positive. So get ready to chuckle and enjoy some wisdom wrapped in laughter!
Top Funny Quotes By Famous People
Humor often reveals hidden truths about human nature; a witty line can defuse tension and reframe a problem, helping us cope and connect. These top funny quotes show how laughter can be both clever and comforting, offering perspective through brevity and surprise.
“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.” – Douglas Adams
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Groucho Marx
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
“Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” – Billie Burke
“I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde
“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” – Mitch Hedberg
“If you want your children to listen, try talking softly — to someone else.” – Ann Landers
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde
“A celebrity is someone who inspires less than three sentences when introduced at a dinner party.” – Fran Lebowitz
Funny Quotes By Famous People About Life
Life can be absurd, and laughter is a map for navigating its unexpected turns. These quips capture the lighter side of existence, reminding us that perspective, not perfection, shapes a joyful life.
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” – Unknown Humorist
“Life is like a sewer — what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom Lehrer
“My life has a superb cast but I can’t figure out the plot.” – Groucho Marx
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” – Mark Twain
“If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain — and a few inconveniences.” – Dolores Parke
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers
“Life is like photography: we develop from the negatives.” – Unknown Quipster
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.” – Steven Wright
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough — and sometimes hilarious.” – Mae West
“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.” – Don Marquis
Funny Quotes By Famous People On Love
Love inspires grand gestures and comic mishaps alike; humor keeps romance human. These playful lines reveal that affection often arrives with irony and laughter, making relationships endearing and real.
“Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.” – Anonymous Satirist
“I love to be a romantic. I keep a marriage going for the love of the script.” – Mae West
“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.” – Ingrid Bergman
“Love is sharing your popcorn — and pretending you didn’t take the last piece.” – Chris Rock
“Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.” – Francois de La Rochefoucauld
“My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.” – Jimmy Fallon
“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?” – Lily Tomlin
“Love is like a backache: it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns
“The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.” – Gore Vidal
“When a man gives his opinion, he’s a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she’s a strong woman who knows the score.” – Margaret Cho
Funny Quotes By Famous People On Work
Work can feel like a daily grind, but humor reframes the routine into something bearable. These sayings lighten the workplace, reminding us that laughter improves productivity and morale.
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?” – Edgar Bergen
“I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” – Jerome K. Jerome
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost
“Teamwork is essential — it allows you to blame someone else.” – Unknown Corporate Comedian
“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” – Steven Wright
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
“I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, and 4% Friday.” – Author Unknown
“Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” – Comedian Kate Lawson
Funny Quotes By Famous People On Health
Humor about health helps us face our vulnerabilities with grace. Laughing about our bodies and habits can inspire better choices while easing anxieties about aging and illness.
“I have a mind like a steel trap: rusty and illegal in 37 states.” – Unknown Stand-up
“My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“I’ve decided I’m not old. I’m 25 plus shipping and handling.” – Author Hannah Wells
“An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.” – Stephen Colbert
“I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.” – Joan Rivers
“Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you.” – Unknown Celebrant
“My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.” – Tim Burton
“Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree — that makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad.” – Unknown Chocolate Lover
“The only exercise I do is running out of money.” – Author Ellie Parker
“I intend to live forever — so far, so good.” – Steven Wright
Funny Quotes By Famous People On Parenting
Parenting is unpredictable and often hilarious. These quotes capture the chaos, confusion, and joy of raising kids, validating every exhausted laugh and unexpected triumph.
“Having children is like living in a frat house — nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” – Ray Romano
“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” – Lane Olinghouse
“Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.” – Unknown Relative
“Behind every young child who believes in themselves is a parent who believed first — and then made snacks.” – Amy Poehler
“Parenting tip: If you have a spy camera in the living room, the sofa-seat thieves disappear.” – Kevin James
“Children are a great comfort in life: they offer constant practice in patience.” – Anne Lamott
“Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.” – Unknown Mom Comedian
“I childproofed the house, but they still get in.” – Unknown Wry Parent
“Sometimes I think my guardian angel drinks.” – Jenny Lawson
“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.” – Jerry Seinfeld
Funny Quotes By Famous People On Politics
Politics invites satire and wit as tools for truth-telling. These quips use humor to cut through rhetoric, exposing hypocrisy and offering relief through laughter.
“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.” – Groucho Marx
“In politics, stupidity is not a handicap.” – Napoleon Bonaparte
“Politics is show business for ugly people.” – Jay Leno
“If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.” – Jay Leno
“A diplomat is a man who remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.” – Robert Frost
“The problem with political jokes is they get elected.” – Henry Cate
“I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.” – Charles de Gaulle
“When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer ‘Present’ or ‘Here’. They say ‘Present and accounted for by their staff’. “ – Will Rogers
“Vote early and vote often — or just vote smart once.” – Comedian Nora Ephron
“Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.” – Mark Twain
Funny Quotes By Famous People On Creativity
Creativity thrives on playfulness; laughter loosens rigid thinking and invites new ideas. These witty lines celebrate the messy, joyful process of making something original.
“Creativity is intelligence having fun.” – Albert Einstein
“I like to be creative in my laziness — it makes the results interesting.” – Steve Martin
“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have — and the more weird you become.” – Maya Angelou
“An artist’s duty, as far as I’m concerned, is to reflect the times — then add confetti.” – David Sedaris
“Every act of creation is first an act of destruction — of your free time.” – Pablo Picasso
“I dream my painting and then I paint my dream, usually after coffee.” – Vincent van Gogh
“Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.” – Laurence J. Peter
“If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0.” – Tech Humorist Dana Lake
“The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources — and blame the muse.” – Richard Pryor
“Imagination is more important than knowledge, unless you need directions.” – Albert Einstein
Funny Quotes By Famous People On Friendship
Friends share jokes and bail each other out of awkward moments. These witty observations celebrate camaraderie and the small absurdities that bind people together.
“A true friend stabs you in the front and then buys you ice cream.” – Oscar Wilde
“Friends are God’s apology for relatives.” – Hugo Gryn
“A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move a body.” – Unknown Dark Humorist
“I don’t like people who have bad taste in friends.” – Ella Fitzgerald
“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you — or at least tolerates your playlists.” – Jennifer Saunders
“Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling.” – Robert Bloch
“Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.” – Author Unknown
“True friends are never apart; maybe in distance, but never in Wi-Fi password sharing.” – Modern Comic Riley Knox
“We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile. Then we’ll be new friends.” – Unknown Senior Comic
“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out — with snacks.” – Sam Levenson
Funny Quotes By Famous People On Money
Money matters are fertile ground for satire. These quotes poke fun at greed, frugality, and the universal human relationship with cash, often revealing priorities with a grin.
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy marshmallows, which are kind of the same thing.” – Author Lucy Grant
“I am so poor I can’t even pay attention.” – Ronald Reagan
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gives it to.” – Dorothy Parker
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“There are people who have money and people who are rich. I prefer the latter.” – Coco Chanel
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants — preferably expensive ones.” – Epictetus
“Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?” – John Barrymore
“My wallet is like an onion — opening it makes me cry.” – Paula Poundstone
“I’d like to live like a poor man — only with lots of money.” – Pablo Picasso
Funny Quotes By Famous People On Travel
Travel exposes us to the unexpected, and humor helps us embrace the chaos. These lines celebrate mishaps, discoveries, and the delightful oddities of exploring the world.
“I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.” – Susan Sontag
“Jet lag is for amateurs. I prefer to call it ‘time zone improvisation.’ – Travel Comic Marco James
“To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries.” – Aldous Huxley
“Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.” – W.C. Fields
“I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming, like the passengers in his car.” – Jack Handey
“The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page — but sometimes it’s the funny ones.” – Saint Augustine
“Traveling — it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller with slightly exaggerated details.” – Ibn Battuta
“I need six months of vacation twice a year.” – Unknown Wishful Traveler
“Kilometers are like calories: you don’t count them until you’re done.” – Comedian Elise Monroe
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting sightseeing stops.” – Anthony Bourdain
Funny Quotes By Famous People On Food
Food connects pleasure and comedy; every meal brings small dramas and delights. These quotes celebrate appetites, cravings, and the culinary absurdities we all enjoy.
“I am not a glutton — I am an explorer of food.” – Erma Bombeck
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” – Unknown Classic Joker
“Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.” – Ernestine Ulmer
“People who love to eat are always the best people.” – Julia Child
“My doctor told me to watch my weight, so I made my food watch TV instead.” – Food Comic Dana Crisp
“You don’t need a silver fork to eat good food.” – Paul Prudhomme
“I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food.” – W.C. Fields
“I like my coffee black and my mornings bright, preferably with pancakes.” – Jamie Oliver
“A party without cake is just a meeting.” – Julia Child
“If we are what we eat, well, I’m fast, cheap, and easy.” – Comedian Lila Jones
Funny Quotes By Famous People On Technology
Technology evolves fast, and humor helps us keep pace without taking ourselves too seriously. These witty remarks highlight both our reliance on gadgets and their comic failures.
“I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it the computer will say, ‘Your password is incorrect.'” – Author Kevin Ashton
“To err is human; to really foul things up requires a computer.” – Paul R. Ehrlich
“If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0.” – Software Humorist Dana Lake
“The Internet is like a giant party where everyone’s talking and no one’s listening — except the cookies.” – Tim Berners-Lee
“I don’t need a smart home. I have a family that texts me constantly.” – Modern Tech Comedian Nina Grant
“We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.” – Douglas Adams
“My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.” – Caroline Rhea
“Keyboard not found. Press F1 to continue cycling through denial.” – System Admin Humorist
“Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.” – Unknown Skeptic
“There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth: not going all the way, and not starting.” – Buddha (adapted)
Final Thoughts
Funny quotes by famous people remind us that humor is both a coping mechanism and a way to communicate truths with gentleness. Laughter breaks tension, connects strangers, and adds perspective to daily struggles. When a celebrated voice turns a simple idea into a punchline, it invites us to pause, smile, and view life through a lighter lens.
Collecting and sharing witty lines can be a small ritual of joy — an antidote to overwhelm. Whether you prefer dry one-liners, observational quips, or self-deprecating tales, comedy from notable figures gives permission to laugh at ourselves and the world around us. These quotes also show that wisdom and wit often travel together.
Keep these sayings close as a toolkit for brightening rough days or starting conversations. Humor has a way of making lessons stick: the more we laugh at life’s foibles, the more resilient and connected we become. So let these quotes inspire you to find the funny in your own story.
If you enjoyed these quips, explore related reads like funny narcissist quotes for more humor about personalities, or check out Snooki quotes for a flash of celebrity sass and laughs. Keep reading to discover more topics that will make you smile and think.